Waiter! There's a zombie in my soup!

I like food. I like good food, fancy food, and I really like theme food. You know the restaurant with flaming tiki torches and a pig rotating over a spit? That's my kind of place.

There's a well known restaurateur in Philadelphia that has a dozen or so themed restaurants, and every restaurant, although different, has the same cloned waitstaff. I swear there is a blood sucking zombie in the back biting each one until they get that glassy stare. Every waiter gives the same introduction, announces the specials with no enthusiasm, and proceeds to serve in a robotic fashion throughout the night. I like to break the cycle by listening to the table service behind us, and when the waiter comes to our table I stop him before he has a chance to deliver his table-side performance by preempting him. Yes, I fully understand the theme of this restaurant from its inception to the imprisonment of the chef to the stove, and the overall environmental impact this locally grown meal will have. Yes, I know each special and how it is prepared. And no, I would not like to order the Chilean sparkling water that has been passed through the gills of a shark and then blessed by a shaman while performing a head shrinking ceremony.

This always stops the waiter. Then I get the stare. They don't know how to handle it; the script they have been made to memorize and have been quizzed ad nauseam by upper management has fallen apart! I am in my glory!

What does this have to do with dentistry? Scripting! The same management technique used to provide identical service in restaurants has been adopted for use in dentistry. Now we can have zombies in the dental office.

You can always tell when you have contacted a scripted office. They are much like the zombie waitstaff: always starting with the same introduction, a little meaningless information about the dentist, and ending with a "how may we help you today?" Usually I can spy these offices from a mile away just by looking at the dentist's credentials. There is always a mention of attending a world-renowned institution of post-graduate education that teaches a life-changing, advanced technique. Some of this "prestigious" education is about learning new and advanced ways to treat a patient's teeth, but a good part of it is about how to treat a patient's journey through a dental practice. All patients are treated the same by each member of the staff who are all zombies reading off of a cue card.

There is a massive amount of articles on the internet guiding dental offices toward scripting. They include exact phrases to use under every circumstance so each patient can have an identical experience. In my opinion, scripting like this sucks the life out of the practice. It creates an impersonal atmosphere, making each patient feel like a number and not an individual. It denys the employees the freedom to flaunt their colorful personalities and takes away from any element of fun in the office. I like to keep my office fun, unique and interesting so I say no to the zombifying effects of scripting!

 www.drsethrosen.com 

A Family Dental Care Center: Dr. Seth Rosen

2030 West Main St. Norristown, PA 19403

610.631.3400